Swearing on Sales Calls: When It Helps and When It Hurts
Jan 02, 2023
Swearing on a sales call helps when it is genuinely how you talk and the buyer has gone first. Used to make a point land, it drops the corporate guard on both sides. Used for its own sake, it costs you the room. If it does not enhance the message, leave it out.
In this episode of Video Made Simple, now the Video Confidence Collective, Chris Schwager works through the research he cites on swearing in sales, what a buyer swearing at you actually signals, Gary Vaynerchuk's argument for doing it in public, and the three things to do when a swear word lands badly. The episode itself contains swearing, which is rather the point.
Chris Schwager is the Founder and CEO of Ridge Films and hosts the show. This one is solo.
Does swearing on a sales call help or hurt?
It helps, conditionally. Chris cites research on the episode, without naming the study, putting sales professionals swearing on 20% of their calls to buyers, and an 8% lift in close rates when the seller and the buyer both curse rather than neither.
The conditions are where the whole argument sits, and there are two. It has to be how you actually speak, and it has to be doing a job in the sentence. A swear word carries emphasis nothing else carries, which is why it works when a line needs to land and why it reads as noise when the line was fine without it.
When is the right time to swear on a video call?
After the buyer does, not before.
"When the other party swears first."
Chris puts a number on it: a sales rep is four times more likely to swear on a call if the buyer curses first. That is not a coincidence, it is permission being read correctly. On a cold call, before anyone has given you that signal, you are guessing, and the cost of guessing wrong is the rest of the meeting.
What does it mean when a buyer swears at you?
It means they have stopped performing. Chris reads a buyer's swearing as a sign the professional guard is down, that formality and social expectation have been dropped, and that the problem in front of you is annoying or complicated or painful enough to warrant the word.
"I believe it helps build rapport and shows who you are."
That is the commercial part. A buyer who swears has told you the real problem is worse than the version in the brief, and matching them is how you stay in that conversation rather than getting pushed back to the polite one. More on the mechanics of that in building rapport on a video call.
When does swearing stop working?
The moment it stops doing any work in the sentence.
"If it doesn't enhance the message, don't add it."
Chris ties it to the same rule he applies to camera work and scripting: communication beats creativity, and anything that gets in the way of the message goes. Swearing for colour, or to sound like somebody you saw do it well, is the version that fails. His own preference is the opposite of decoration.
"I would rather cut to the point with a swear word."
The episode's example is Gary Vaynerchuk, who made a deliberate choice to build a brand with the swearing left in. Asked why he curses so much for someone who does not need to, his answer on the clip is one line.
"Because I only believe in authenticity. It's how I talk."
Which is the test, not a licence. It works for him because it is true of him. If it is not true of you, borrowing it reads exactly as borrowed, the same way a borrowed presenting style does. David Deane-Spread on being believed on camera covers the same problem from the leadership side.
What do you do if swearing lands badly?
Stop the call and address it, in three steps, before you carry on.
- Check they are okay with it. Chris's line is that you cannot just steamroll over when they have got a bad taste in their mouth about hearing you swear. Ask, and wait for the answer.
- Justify the reason, then reiterate. Say why you used the word, restate the point it was carrying, and make sure they are with you before you move on.
- Apologise and move on. If the first two have not worked, and it is interrupting the flow of the meeting or the message, say sorry plainly and keep going.
The instruction underneath all three is the one worth writing on a sticky note: read the room, read the person. It is the same skill that decides how formal to be, how fast to talk and how much to explain, and it is the skill people lose the moment a camera is involved.
Key moments
- 0:36 Why casual attire came with casual language
- 0:56 The research: swearing on 20% of sales calls, and why people swear at all
- 1:40 The best time to swear on a video call is after the buyer does
- 2:06 The 8% close-rate figure
- 2:31 What a buyer swearing actually signals
- 3:12 If it does not enhance the message, do not add it
- 3:42 Gary Vaynerchuk on why he curses
- 4:38 Read the room, read the person
- 5:05 The three ways to recover when it lands badly
- 6:30 Why it can be the best icebreaker in the call
Links and resources
- The pillar this episode sits under: getting confident on camera
- Build rapport and reinforce relationships virtually
- What are the best practices in video selling
- David Deane-Spread on authentic leadership on camera
- Chris Schwager on LinkedIn
Frequently asked questions
Should you swear on a cold call?
Not as an opener. Chris Schwager's rule on the episode is that you go second: a sales rep is four times more likely to swear on a call if the buyer curses first, because the buyer swearing is the signal that formality has been dropped. On a cold call nobody has given you that signal yet, so you are guessing.
Does swearing help you close a sale?
The figure Chris cites on the episode is an 8% increase in close rates when the salesperson and the buyer both curse, against calls where neither does. He does not name the study. The condition attached is bigger than the number: it only works when swearing is genuinely how you talk.
What if you swear on a call and it goes badly?
Stop and deal with it, in three steps. Check the other person is actually okay with it rather than talking over the moment. Justify why you said it, then reiterate the point you were making. If neither of those lands, apologise plainly and move on. Do not leave it sitting there unaddressed.
Full transcript
Read the full transcript of this episode
This episode contains swearing. Just to let you know, kids, if you're in the car listening, tell Dad and mom to turn it up, baby.
[00:00:12] A happy new year to everyone and welcome to the Video Made Simple podcast where we refashion the perception of video and change how you do business. I'm your host, Chris Schwager, and if you have caught yourself swearing on video calls and wondering if you've breached some ethics code, this episode will enlighten you when and how it can be appropriate to swear in sales.
[00:00:33] Okay. Let's start off. How swearing impacts sales?
[00:00:36] Do you still wear a tie, a jacket? Assure to your meetings? Well, I don't, and the last three years I've become more and more casual , despite the fact today that I am wearing a jacket, however, I just feel in the mood. Casual attire comes with a casual attitude and sometimes casual behavior and language.
[00:00:56] According to research, sales professionals swear during 20% of their calls to buyers, and it's helping them close deals, but it's not that clear cut. Why do we swear m*therf*cker ? And why does it capture our attention? Swearing is an important form. I love swearing. I'm a swearer. It's an important form of expression for people as a way to get in touch with our emotions. Like a response to pain. Emotional reaction to a painful situation. Instead of thinking of swearing as harmful, it's more meaningful to us, what communication goals does swearing achieve? Swearing at the right moment in a sales call can produce a positive result.
[00:01:40] You can't make a statement anymore emphatic than by dropping an F-bomb. Swear words, add emotion and urgency to otherwise mutual sentences. So when is the best time to swear on video calls? When the other party swears first. A sales rep is four times more likely to swear on a sales call if the buyer curses first.
[00:02:06] And here's the real stat here. 8% increase in close rates when sales people and a buyer curse on calls versus no cursing at all. What does it mean? . When buyers curse, they are letting their professional guard down a sign. That means it's okay to drop formality in social expectations and show their true selves.
[00:02:31] The derivative of that is that you are showing more vulnerability, more authenticity that you are human, and that the true pain of the situation is that it is frustrating, it is annoying. It's complicated, or it's painful enough that it warrants swearing. I believe it helps build rapport and shows who you are. Not the corporate side, not the conservative side. This is who I am. Take it or leave it. Don't let it get in the way of effective and clear communication though. Right, and this is my point. I'm not out just saying, Hey, poo bomb, shit, poo fuck, can't, whatever. If it doesn't enhance the message, don't add it. Right?
[00:03:12] It kind of goes with the same principle that we have about communication over creativity. It's the same thing. Don't let it get tangled up. And you know, a great example is Gary Vaynerchuk. I mean, he is a, a hero. He is somebody that, uh, I follow for, for many years, and he made a strategic choice to cultivate an authentic brand with a heavy dose of Jersey boy or swearing effective because it's true to his personality.
[00:03:38] When asked, why does he curse so much? And this is what he said.
[00:03:42] Lady: You curse so much for a guy who doesn't need to.
[00:03:45] Gary Vaynerchuk: Because I only believe in authenticity. It's how I talk. Like when I think about do I care about my employees, it feels more like in my brain and my heart and my soul. Do I give a fuck about my employees more than do I care about my employees? That's how my, that's for my brain and heart to my mouth. I am willing to deal with the ramifications of me being my full self.
[00:04:07] Lady: Do you curse at home?
[00:04:08] Gary Vaynerchuk: A ton.
[00:04:09] Lady: In front of your kids?
[00:04:09] Gary Vaynerchuk: Yep. I'm just not devastated to go into my fourth grade like teacher and, and Mrs. Thompson's like, you have a real problem. I'm like, what's that Mrs. Thompson? Your daughter curses. I just don't see that as a real problem. Me and Mrs. Thompson just don't see the world the same way. Again, I'm the byproduct of Mrs. Thompson telling me my whole life that I would be a failure. Mrs. Thompson thought that a D in science was going to be my downfall, just like she thinks saying fuck is her downfall. I don't agree.
[00:04:38] Chris Schwager: Okay, so now you've heard it from Gary. Swearing works best when it naturally fits your personality and when the situation allows it, and also because you are swearing for the fun of it and without offending anyone. Read the room, read the person, and if you swear and receive negative reaction, you might have to try this. Uh, couple of techniques that I learned in my tender as a professional speaker.
[00:05:05] One, check that they're okay with it. That's the first thing. You cannot just steamroll over when they've got a bad taste in their mouth about hearing you swear.
[00:05:14] Two, justify the reason for swearing or if it hasn't landed the way that you expect it. Again, stop, reiterate, emphasize, and make sure they're okay before you progress with your video call or your presentation.
[00:05:30] Three, the worst case is you gotta apologize. I really haven't apologized before because I usually get away with it pretty well because I have the right context to swearing. Um, particularly if it's stopping the flow of the meeting or interrupting the message you're trying to send. You've gotta address that you do have to address an in the steps one and two haven't worked. Simply apologize and move on. I swear. Brendan doesn't. I don't try to protect my kids from it. They're gonna hear it. They're gonna see it. It's in the dictionary, and it's not like I'm walking around the house going, fuck, fuck, fuck every day of the week, right. It has context and I expect that they would use it in the same way contextually. Okay. And I think that's important .
[00:06:17] Now, nobody likes kids swearing, but this idea of protecting them from it, I think is not something that we do in our parenting style. Okay. To protect them is, yeah, eventually it's all gonna come out in the wash.
[00:06:30] And it's interesting. It can make things easy to listen to. As far as I'm concerned. It can be the best icebreaker, it's color. It's my belief that it's, um, part of who we are as imperfect human beings, and it's just much more interesting. I would rather cut to the point with a swear word. Then dance around a topic with a waffly message.
[00:06:55] Messaging is a vital piece of the puzzle, and knowing the right words to use can help your scripting. If you want more personalized coaching around this, then be sure to leave us a message and let us know how we can help. Do you swear in sales videos? Check out the DIY Video Program that comes with scripting sessions, and script templates to help you deliver the message people will want to watch.
[00:07:19] Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe to this channel where you'll get weekly video made simple ideas to present your videos like a pro. That's all for this episode. Thanks for listening again, and see you next week.
If the way you talk on a sales call changes the moment the camera goes on, that is a delivery habit, not a personality problem, and it is coachable. Book a call and we will look at how you actually come across on video.
